Back on Guam

We are back on Guam.  The 3 flights home were not bad at all.  I was sort of dreading the trip back... thinking it would feel super long.  It didn't.  The kids did fantastic.... so proud of them.  It is so nice to hear adults come up to me and tell me how well behaved the kids are and what a "good job" I must be doing.  That's such a huge compliment to me... when strangers go out of their way to tell me this.  THANK YOU!

The lady that came up to me couldn't help but laugh at Mia because while we were getting off the plane she heard me telling all the kids to be helpful.  When I handed all the various bags to the bigger kids, Mia felt left out, "... but Mommy, I want to help, too".  Walking down the airplane aisle, Mia began helping me push our backpack roller... and before I knew it she was holding on and riding it through the narrow aisle, dragging her little feet behind laughing, "I'm helping you, Mommy!"  Her fun actually broke my backpack... the little stinker.  How can I get mad though.. her intention was to help!

On the next leg of our journey, I was again blessed that there were kind passengers who cheerfully gave up their seats so my boys can be together on the long flights home.  I'm thankful for that kind gentleman who, without even asking, lifted our hand carry bags and stowed them in the overhead compartments... and then took them down for us in Hawaii.  These are small acts of kindness that I appreciate so much... from complete strangers!   Small blessings!  EVERYWHERE!

There was a moment right before taking off when Mia had a sad look on her face.  She looked up at me and said, "Mommy, I don't think daddy is coming to Guam.  Where is he?"  Oh my goodness... it was a genuine sadness in her voice and on her face.  With a forced smile and a lump in my throat I leaned over and gave her such a big hug and reassured her that daddy will be home soon.  It wasn't good enough for her.  "But where is he, mommy?  Is he at work?"

She's not clueless.  She knows.  She's questioning me.  I wonder if she'll remember him being gone for so long.  I think she will.  For now... we'll keep drawing pictures for Daddy, skype with him and talk via our computers as often as we can.  Daddy's little girl misses him so much!!!   Both of his girls miss him a lot!  WE ALL DO!

Our neighbors, Shelley and her son Jake... and also Jason, Pame and their daughter Jazzie welcomed us home with beautiful hand-picked floral lei's and hugs and kisses.  What a GREAT welcome!  Thank you for picking us up and making us always feel so special!

A delicious pesto pasta dinner  made for the kids (thank you Jason & Pame) for feeding my kids and letting them come over to eat... while I had my first "moment" at home, facing my reality!  Didn't expect those tears... they usually sneak up on me when I least expect it.   I'll claim a serious lack of sleep on that one!  Thank you also to Shelley for getting milk & bread for my fridge and making your delicious brownies for dessert!  How blessed I am to have such awesome families in my life!  God is always good!!!  Placing the right people in my life at the right time.  HIS timing always amazes me!  Thank you God!

It's been a great summer!  A full & fantastic summer!  Great reunions were made... and great memories, too!   The kids grew spiritually and physically... and through it all I feel strong and courageous to face my reality back home on GUAM, without Dale.   I know I'll have my moments when things will HIT me suddenly and feel overwhelmed... but I also know it's at those moments I will dig deeper and find strength that I didn't even know I had.  Love you all... thanks for your prayers!

1 Peter 5:2-4, 6-8 (New International Version)

^{2Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; 3not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. 4And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. 6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 
7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.} 
8 Be self-controlled and alert. 

John 14:1  Jesus Comforts His Disciples

 ¹"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.

A reflection of light

My mom bought Daniella her first latch hook.  I helped her pick it out... a 20"x27" teddy bear with an American flag in the background.  It seemed fitting to do with daddy gone serving our country!  She was excited to get started.  Megan, her cousin visiting from MD even got to help, which made it even more fun!

PopPop (my dad) - set up a nice work station for Dani so the project could just be left out.  Turns out it invited others to sit down and latch a few colors and help... those that wanted to, that is!  Here's the interesting part about this project.  It showed me who were starters, who were finishers and who were observers.  There are those that look at the details immediately and those that don't... but later see the beauty in the details.  I know... it's just a latch hook project... but actually it became much more!

Gigi working on the details...

My cousin, Gigi (Megan's mom) looked at the project and said, "wow, this is a tough one" and the funny thing is I never even looked at it that way.  I mean, how hard could it be really?  Just follow the painted colors on the grid, find the yard, latch it and move on.  Of course, it was easy at first as you can see... it was just blue, white and red for the first few days.

Notice the bears nose.  The girls went ahead and put the brown yarn on the nose and walked away.  Gigi followed the pattern and saw that there was supposed to be a few white yarn mixed in it.  THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE WHOLE BEAR!  This one small detail highlights the LIGHT reflecting off of the bears nose!  A detail that I'm so glad that Gigi fixed and made right!

This military life I've been living for the last 15 years has taught me to just kind of "go with the flow".  Don't stress too much about what lies ahead.  You gotta just jump in and figure it out.   You stress too much about what you can't control - and it paralyzes you to move forward.   Hmmm... that seemed to be my approach to this project.  JUST DO IT... we'll figure it all out as we go.

I love that my cousin took the time to see the details from the beginning.   Counting each row... matching it to the detailed and enclosed pattern of instructions.  She pointed out that there were 2 different reds, various shades of white and grey.  Hmmm... I started to think, maybe this is too tough!  As she worked quietly and methodically, I watched and observed, yet too busy to actually sit down and participate... but always watching the progress!  Wow, turns out that the details do make a difference!  There were highlights of white in the bears nose that didn't show on the latch hook grid - but indicated the WHITE in the pattern of instructions.

The adults took over the project.  There's no surprise that my mom got into it.  Showed me exactly how I see her... always involved in my life and always helpful.  A doer, a worker... a starter and a finisher.  She sees the details... always taking time to do things RIGHT!  She's amazing!  She's my cheerleader, my life coach, my everything!  I LOVE MY MOM!

I'm a FINISHER.  I always have been!  Also known as a procrastinator... but I like to think that I FINISH things STRONG.  Our last week here in Florida, I finally sat down and got into the details of the final 20 rows down and 70 rows across.   Working together with my daughter at times... calling out the colors in each row as she pulled them aside and lined them up.  We had a system... we worked together and it made things easier.  She started... and then left me to do it on my own for 2 days.  I guess it got a little boring for her.

As I latched different colors it made me think of all the colorful family & friends that are in my life... how each person completes a picture in MY life.  There were some yarns that stuck out further than others... Gigi mentioned to just "trim them down" later - but then I thought... these kind of represent the people that seem to go above and beyond what is asked of them.  They go out of their way a bit more.  I love how they're spread out... kind of how God places them in my life just at the right time... just when I need them.

Daniella was frustrated at one point because our pattern was OFF for a few rows.  I assured her that it was okay and that we can either take everything out... or just continue.   Reluctantly, she continued and it's hard to tell now in the BIG picture where that row is.  Life is like that, too!  We may get off track for a moment and it seems like a BIG deal at the time... but eventually it all works itself out.

Then there was this lone red yarn at the end... all on it's own.  I think Daniella did that.  Maybe in her head she wanted to be the one to FINISH the project... so she put the last yarn in before actually getting there.  But it just stood there alone.  The picture incomplete.  I found that interestingly funny.  How often do we wish we could just finish something... and it's just not happening fast enough.  Hmmm... say like THIS DEPLOYMENT of Dale?    As much as I want it to come NOW... I know that day will soon come and there are still things GOD needs us to do to complete our picture.

I LOVE LIFE LESSONS even in the simple things!
So I ask Dani, "Show me the rows we messed up on"
Hard to find now!  But if I ask her where's the LIGHT
reflecting off the bears nose... that one's easy to find!
FOCUS on the LIGHT and SHINE ON for all to see!

Maybe I'm reading too much into this project.  It was quite therapeutic actually.  I did make myself stop and let Daniella FINISH it... since it was supposed to be HER project.  She appreciated the help and was full of JOY when she could finish the last few rows.

Here is the complete project.  Our DALE bear... this one is for you, Daddy!  We are proud of you!!  Do well out there and take time to see the details all around you.   SHINE ON and be that LIGHT to those that need you most!!

Matthew 5:14-16 
(New International Version)

 ¹⁴"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.¹⁶In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Whenever we come to FL we try to make it down to Tampa to visit with some of our favorite people... RACHEL and her crew!  :-)  It's hard to believe that this was their first time to meet our sweet Mia!  She fit right in and joined in the dance party!  Of course, Rachel & her hubby Matt also added to their crew of 5 girls... little man Truman (14 months old) - what a cutie pie he is!  How blessed he is to join such a loving, happy family!

** correction!  I just saw old photos of Rachel holding Mia as a baby!!  Turns out we visited FL when Mia was just a little baby... and Rachel and her girls came up to visit us at my parents house!  So this was their 2nd time to see little Ms. Mia!!!

Their oldest daughter Mackenzie found out a year ago that she had scoliosis.  The x-rays showed a double S curve.   She had back surgery on her spine yesterday... and her attitude, her strength and courage... as well as her FAITH in GOD has uplifted me!  She is an amazing little girl and such a reflection of her family!  We love you Mackenzie!

So glad that I could spend time with both sisters - Rachel & Mary.  I love these girls!  I love their families!  God has indeed blessed us with such an amazing friendship!!  A friendship of almost 20 years now!  We met before we became wives... and before we became mommies!  Now we have 14 kids between the 3 of us!  Wooowwwwzzzeer!!!    Ten girls and four boys!

Genesis 1:28 (English Standard Version)

 ²⁸And God blessed them. And God said to them,^(A) "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

my first post...

I'm here in the sand for several months and Dorothy has been my "source" of survival out here...i'm having fun/proud of what i'm doing/learning much and serving my country without hesitation....i'm still away from my wonderful family; sure, i knew this could happen when i put on this uniform 18+ years ago - and here it is. 

Sacrifice:  My stint here defines sacrifice---putting my country first, defending freedom and doing MY share during this time of war -- albeit I am humbled with this opportunity, I'm SO BLESSED to have a devoted family who understands my role as a father - a military one, at that.

Above all, praying each day for strength, wisdom and patience - this is key to my daily endurance.  Next of all, Dorothy - she's my partner in life, my best friend.  It is comforting to know that she is at HOME taking care of our miraculous children...taking care of our family.  For this, I am ever thankful -- I am truly rich...not fiscally, but in love (for my dear family)....    Dorothy, I love you and our children - for always.  Daddy....

Mia gets frustrated when she can't do what her
older brothers & sister do!  It's tough being 3!

When you're 3 years old, I guess life can be a little frustrating!  Mia had her craziest tantrum to date.  I'm still kind of laughing about it right now - but at the time it wasn't as funny... there were moments during her crying she kept asking me to stop laughing!  Honestly, I couldn't help it!  She was so off her knocker... what else could I do but laugh?

I'm guessing that her tantrum started when I asked the kids to change her to her "baby soup" (bathing suit) to go swimming, while I was on the phone.  They couldn't take off her shirt and she wanted to get out of the room... but no one would let her.  This is when she completely LOST IT!

When I went to calm her down and lay down with her... she couldn't hug me tight enough! She kept begging, "Mommy, hug me mommy, please!!  Hug me tighter!"  It wasn't tight enough unless my face was pressing onto hers.  It was to the point where she was hugging me so tight I couldn't breathe! (and yes, the whole time I'm trying not to laugh!)  Then when I went to wipe her tears... she cried louder saying, "don't wipe my tears mommy!"  This lasted for about 10 minutes.  She then decided and announced that she didn't love her brothers and sister anymore and wanted them to live with Max.  I'm guessing this is her little friend Max (on Guam).  She also wanted me to spank them all for what they did.

One of the last photos of Daddy with the kids before
his deployment to Kuwait...
and of course, they're all laughing!!  Miss you honey!

Helping her feel "heard", I called all the kids into the room... and lightly spanked their bottoms and told them that they had to leave because Mia didn't love them anymore.  With sad faces, they left.  Trying to give Mia her sense of control and "voice" back... they all agreed.  Mia & I watched through our bedroom window as the three older kids (hiding the smiles on their faces) walked outside pretending to leave.

Laying back on the bed... she felt in control again.  We laid there quietly for awhile.  She then whispered quietly to me and said, "mommy, can I go play with my brothers and sister outside?"  And like that... she was over it!

Each of the kids gave Mia a big hug and kiss asking if she will forgive them for making her feel locked in the room and not listening to her.  She felt so much better and gave each of them a BIG HUG and kiss!

Ephesians 4:32 (New International Version)

³²Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

My handsome
husband!  Looking
so official in his
new "sand" cammies!

Everyone wants to be heard.  Even when you're 3 years old!  Right now everything is different... and I want to be sensitive to how each of my kids are during this time. They each express change differently.  How important it is right now to be able to speak each of their LOVE language!  Through the years, I've learned that Morgan's love language is words of affirmation (just like his daddy), Ryan's is touch, Dani & Mia are both time!  And Mia is also touch!  Can anyone guess my love language?  Ahh, yes - ACTS OF SERVICE!

We're still vacationing in Florida and enjoying our time here with my parents.  I love being here with my mom & dad!  They are speaking my love language every day!  Helping with the kids and Mom always cooking... vacation here couldn't be any better!    Daddy Dale is far far away just starting his 8 month deployment in Kuwait. He's missing out on all the daily fun... but we know he's having fun where he is, too!  We're proud of you honey!  Do your thing and hurry back home!

Thankfully, the day ended GREAT!  The kids went swimming at the indoor pool at my parents community center.. and Daddy skyped us while we were there.  He was able to watch Mia jump in the water, flip over on her back and float for awhile... and then swim to the edge to get out of the pool.  THIS WAS A FIRST! A first for Mia and a first for all of us to see.  I'm so thankful for SKYPE and that Dale was able to witness our little Mia's water accomplishment!   YEAH!   Never a dull moment!

... on his way

It's been over 3 weeks of pre-deployment training in California.  I'm guessing that this time doesn't count towards part of the 8 months of deployment.  To have a countdown - we need a date of return.  Unfortunately, we don't have an exact date to put in our heads... all we know is Dale should be home to us (back on Guam) sometime around March 2011.  Daniella is hoping it's before her birthday on the 14th.  We'll pray for that!  On top of praying for his constant protection and safety!  I pray that Dale will also be an example for all those he comes in contact with... that others will see CHRIST through him.  In his actions and in his leadership!

training at Camp Pendleton

It's going to be a long flight!  Dale called from Illinois... stopped to refuel in Canada... and we instant messaged each other through facebook while he was in Germany... slowly making their way to Kuwait and the heat!  I'm ready for him to get there and do his thing... so he can hurry back home!!!

Be safe, my love!  We know that you'll do wonderful things out there... and that GOD has GREAT things in store for you... for us... for our family!

friends reunited from the Naval Academy

a lot of luggage.... ready to head to the sand!

the plane that took them to Kuwait (thanks Ryan!)

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

My friend Alex!

The night before Dale left for his pre-deployment training ... I got an e'mail from a good friend of mine.  She was getting in touch with me because I had mentioned that we might be stopping by to visit on our way down to FLORIDA.  When I got her e'mail I was so shocked to hear about her newest project and what is keeping her busy.  It certainly took my mind off of what I was facing with Dale leaving.

Even though it was a surprise and brief visit this summer... I am so thankful for the
30 minutes that I got to hug my friend and tell her what an amazing inspiration she is to me!
Her story WILL encourage and inspire you, too!

Have you ever had a friend who's changed your outlook on life?  Someone who makes you want to be a better person?  Alex is one of those friends for me.  She's confident, intelligent, kind, beautiful, God-centered, hilarious, honest, inspirational... I can go on & on!  I am blessed to call her MY FRIEND!

We met in South Carolina.  Our boys (my Ryan and her oldest boy Rocco) were classmates in Kindergarten.  It was a Meet and Greet night at the school and I saw Alex & her husband walk in.  It was hard to miss them... what a striking couple.   We just moved to South Carolina, so I was looking to meet some new people.    There were 3 kids in Ryan's class that he kept talking about.   Rocco, Ben and Sarah.  "Mom, they look like me" is what I recall Ryan saying.  I guess when you're new to a school - you're drawn to what you know.  Isn't it funny, they were the 4 Asian kids in the class.

Working my way to meet Alex across the classroom, I noticed her husband, Michael leave her side to talk to someone he knew.   She stood there alone for awhile, not moving... then I realized she was visually impaired.  As I introduced myself, she stuck her hand out and gave me such a firm and confident handshake.  She was excited to also meet me as Rocco had talked quite a bit about Ryan, too.  Without missing a beat - she invited us to his birthday party that weekend... and we've have been friends ever since!

Alex has Macular degeneration and told me that every year her vision gets worse.  She says she sees shapes.  I looked up a website and there were two images of what it looks like in the eyes of one who has this medical condition.

I remember going to Chuck E Cheese together and our kids were all running around having fun.  Her boys would come and go and I'd find Alex talking to them... not realizing that they had already left and she was talking to thin air.  I'd tell her, "Uh, Alex... they're long gone, girl - you can stop talking now".  She just laughed it off and said this happens all the time.

I suggested that she buy one of those ear clips so she sort of looked like all those business people talking to no one... you know the type - you're looking wondering who in the world are they talking to... then you notice their cellphone ear piece.  She laughed and thought it was a good idea.    I'm simply amazed by her strength and confidence.  Her humor and wit.  Just read her blog regarding her "project" and you'll fall in love with her, too!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/alexcostanzoproject/mystory

My beautiful friend - ALEX

Here's her story and the "project" she's working on.   Thanks to her, I am a stronger person.  Hearing her latest news and knowing the mountain she is facing... makes my mountain seem like a small hill.

Before moving to Guam, I remember sitting in her kitchen, both with our newborn babies (Mia and her Guilio), "How do you do it, Alex?  I never see or hear you complain!"  She simply said, "My blessings are more than my worries.  I have too much to be thankful for!"  WOW!

I think about Alex a lot.  More than she knows.  When life gets tough I'm reminded of her and how she focuses on all that's good.   Alex is blind and now fighting breast cancer.  When I gave her a big hug in SC a month ago she must have felt my sympathy and she grabbed my arms and said, "Dot, I'm not dying... it's just my new project!  Seriously... so STRONG and so COURAGEOUS!  Such amazing strength!  Such an amazing woman!  I love everything about her... I miss her and wish I wasn't so far away at this time.   Please pray for my friend Alex... that her recovery is fast and her treatment is exact.   I hope her story will inspire you to recognize all your blessings!

In the bible, the Apostle Pauls letters in prison are so fitting to what Alex is going through, with such confidence. 

Philippians 3:12-16 (New International Version)

Pressing on Toward the Goal

 ¹²Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ¹⁵All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. ¹⁶Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

Philippians 4:4-14 

 ⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Thanks for Their Gifts

 ¹⁰I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. ¹¹I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength. ¹⁴Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.